


End Of The Line

by literally_no_idea



Series: Notes (TW) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18426045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literally_no_idea/pseuds/literally_no_idea
Summary: When Steve doesn't join Bucky and Sam on their usual morning run, Bucky goes into Steve's room to check on him and finds a letter on his nightstand.(Please note the tags.)





	End Of The Line

**Author's Note:**

> The contents of Steve's suicide note. Sorry.

Hey Bucky. I told you I’m with you to the end of the line. And this is the end of the line.

 

I can’t do it, Buck. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, I just can’t do this anymore. Which is stupid, because you’ve had an even worse century than I’ve had, but I’m not strong enough for this. The serum changed a lot about me, made me a lot stronger in some ways, but in some ways I’m still just that scrawny punk from Brooklyn.

 

I know I never used to run away from a fight, but I’m running from this one. I actually can’t do this all day. I can barely do this today. So I’m sorry for that. I think I’m going to let down a lot of people, as Captain America, but I know I’m letting you down, as the little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight.

 

I wish I knew what to tell you. Because some people move on. But not us. And I know this will upset you, and the team, and everyone else, but I can’t keep holding out just for other people. I can’t keep surviving just to please other people. Because I’m not happy anymore, Buck. Nothing really makes me happy anymore.

 

Sure, there’s small moments that are nice, but overall? I just don’t feel like I’m living anymore. I’m just going through the motions of surviving to make other people feel better. I’ve got everything I could have ever wanted, and more; I’ve got you, the team, all the clothes and food and shelter and comfort I could possibly ask for, but none of it feels like it means anything anymore. I can’t enjoy it. None if it feels important anymore.

 

The team will manage in battles without me. You can always help them, too. I know you’re doing better, and you might not trust yourself, but I do. I trust you. And you’ll do great if you decide to work with the team on missions. If not, that’s fine too. No one will think any less of you for it.

 

I love you, Buck. Be safe. Trust yourself. You’re better than you think.

  
  
  


Steven Grant Rogers.


End file.
